Bloopers

Favorite Bloopers One of my all time favorites was a post in a computing forum. The victim: an inexperienced computer type who emailed an entire forum warning them of a potential virus on their computers entitled SULFNBK.EXE. Out of the his sincere desire to help, he told the recipients to forward this to everyone in their address book. Much to his dismay (and my entertainment) an experienced moderator replied with the following:

"A few examples of some more, only these are what I send back to those who have sent me one of the others, along with several sites to check out such "Send this on to everyone in your addressbook" type messages....

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams,extreme virginity, and fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal
electrocution.

I also suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion freaking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? "Ooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page
and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!"

What a bunch of bullcrap.

Basically, this message is for all the morons out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and which, if it makes it to the year 2000, will be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak
of blatant stupidity.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being "

I don't care!! Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life delete it.

If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email, lest he end up like Miranda. Right?

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
==============================================

***********************************************
WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, AND BEWARE!
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
***********************************************

WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet
Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a
new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story,
legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The
Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward
copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, email viruses, taxes on
modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.

"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based
on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people,
who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street
corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility
Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.

"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping
victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward
to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."

Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I
just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other
recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a
long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxes Anonymous
meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is
spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.

Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which
include the following:

The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking. The urge to
forward multiple copies of such stories to others. A lack of desire to take
three minutes to check to see if a story is true.
T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read
on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall
out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T.
C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.

Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts
recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to
their favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless
credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and
exposed by the Internet community.

Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help
from many sources, including

Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability at
»ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html[?]

Symantec Anti Virus Research Center at
»www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html[?]

McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List at
»www.mcafee.com/support/hoax.html[?]

Dr. Solomons Hoax Page at
»www.drsolomons.com/vircen/hoax.html[?]

The Urban Legends Web Site at
»www.urbanlegends.com[?]

Urban Legends Reference Pages at
»www.snopes.com[?]

Datafellows Hoax Warnings at
»www.Europe.Datafellows.com/news/hoax.htm[?]

Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves against
the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating sources, such
as

Evaluating Internet Research Sources at
»www.sccu.edu/faculty/R_Harris/evalu8it..[?]

Evaluation of Information Sources at
»www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm[?]

Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources at
»refserver.lib.vt.edu/libinst/critTHINK..[?]

Lastly, as a public service, Internet users can help stamp out the Gullibility
Virus by sending copies of this message to anyone who forwards them a hoax.

***********************************************
This message is so important, we're sending it anonymously! Forward it to all
your friends right away! Don't think about it! This is not a chain letter! This
story is true! Don't check it out! This story is so timely, there is no date on
it! This story is so important, we're using lots of exclamation points! Lots!!
For every message you forward to some unsuspecting person, the Home for the
Hopelessly Gullible will donate ten cents to itself. (If you wonder how the Home
will know you are forwarding these messages all over creation, you're obviously
thinking too much.)
***********************************************

ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! LIMITED TIME ONLY! NOT SOLD IN ANY STORE!"

Oh my...

Thanks for visiting! Problems?? Contact the webmaster